You have to make it to my wedding!

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You have to
make it to my
wedding!

by S. K. Joshi

“Hey bro! I’m finally getting hitched this month. I’ve mailed you the e-invite. Make sure you land up a day prior to my big day”, a beaming Rajat informed me. A married man for years now, I was left wondering what the whole excitement in his voice was for, as I took a pause. Sensing that I was unsure about making it to his wedding, Rajat let go of a mouthful followed by “Saaley you have to.. have to come !!”. I broke into a wry smile and quipped back “Bugger, as if you are gonna hold on to your horse if I don’t make it! You are not going to defer your wedding by a minute, even for God!”

We lol-ed in tandem. The very thought of a wedding function prompted me to imagine what the whole affair could be like. Amused about the paradigm shift in the manner weddings are held these days vis a vis what I have witnessed as a child made me pen this piece. To start with, you receive a seemingly anonymous e-mail with an animated soft copy of the wedding invitation, photo-shopped to an extent that you can barely recognize the to-be bride and groom. Switch to the good old days and the parents of the ‘to-be weds’ would set out with physical invitation cards and a strip of ‘Pudin Hara’ tablets to combat the bout of acidity waiting for them beyond the scores of cups of tea/coffee at every pit stop. Once you receive the invitation (any era) you are busy scouring for the handbook where you’d listed down the amounts gifted by your guests when you’d hosted a function last. Tit for tat is the spirit!

Donno if it helps these days that you can ‘paytm’ the amount or order for a gift online so that it reaches the couple well before the wedding. But then how do you walk into the reception empty handed. Nay..you are better off repackaging that old gift lying in the chest, hoping it doesn’t come back to you some day as the musical chair of gifts pans out. Now, the big day has arrived. It’s a close buddy, so you got to be there for the ‘baraat’ since it’s a great opportunity to showcase that after guzzling down some free alcohol you are left with two left feet. Some of the ‘baraatis’ are so engulfed by joy that I feel like tapping on their shoulder to ask “Wtf are you so ecstatic about someone else’s marriage?”

Guess it must have been sadistic pleasure for an already married man! Now, you’ve reached the venue where a big banquet and pretty girls with roses in hand await you. There ends the similarity between today and the days of the past. Earlier you were ushered in with an invisible ‘VVIP’ tag of a baarati and guided to the special menu section of the premises. While a chain of iron chairs and long tables c ov e re d w it h white paper rolls didn’t look too inviting, but you could be assured of being force fed with the choicest of dishes, served (read as dumped) in generous quantities till you feel immobile.

Today, if you’ve hit the venue at a time, when a lot of others also felt would be a thin hour, there’s a lot to do. Queued up with scores of others, you feel like an inmate who should consider himself lucky to get his meal. This chaotic arrangement is called a ‘buffet’ where ironically, you cannot help yourself. Rather, you are greeted by the prying eyes of the catering staff who’s trying to figure out if it’s your first helping. Either way, the meagre servings force you to wonder if you overspent on the gift !

Lastly, as you prepare to leave the venue with a stained shirt, thanks to the jostler from Somalia behind you in the queue, you are greeted by representatives of the host at the exit gate, who are equally relieved that you are leaving.

In today’s context, a run away marriage is not a bad idea after all, considering that a box of sweets with a bunch of genuinely happy well-wishers is all it takes to push you into the roller-coaster phase of your life, sans any seat belts! ❏

Events
Ahead……….

May 01, 2017
Technoswagger
07:00 pm onwards
Janta Maidan,
Bhubaneswar


May 02-03, 2017
Cook It Up
02:30 pm to 07:00 pm
AGMO Super Center,
District Center,
Chandrasekharpur, Near
State Bank of Hyderabad,
Bhubaneswar


May 06, 2017
Milltec Food Show Odisha
09:00 am onwards
Swosti Premium Hotel,
Bhubaneswar


May 08-09, 2017
Indradhanush 2k17
09:00 am onwards
KiiT University,
Bhubaneswar

May 14, 2017
Helium
01:30 pm onwards
Janta Maidan,
Bhubaneswar


May 22, 2017
Nrutya Naivedya Odissi Utsav
10:00 am onwards
Bhanja Kala Mandap,
Bhubaneswar


May 28, 2017
Odisha Global
05:00 pm onwards
Janta Maidan,
Bhubaneswar

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